How habits are formed – both good and bad
Most of us are creatures of habit, weather we know it or not. If we find a familiar way of doing things, we just settle in and that becomes the way we do it – over and over. This is particularly true when it comes to relationships. Have you ever dated someone for a while (or even married them) and at first the relationship is great. Then, over time…it gets riddled with problems, complications, miscommunications, etc. and before you know it, that relationship ends. You soon find yourself in another really great relationship and you think things are going to be different now. You think this because you are with someone totally new. How could you possibly end up in that sucky place again like you did with the “old” person. After all, this is a brand new start.
Well, YOU are the same YOU. This is where the reality sets in. If you’ve ever had any of the same kind of issues in your different relationships, then chances are there’s something that you can learn from this. I think the lesson is this: what kind of habits are you holding onto that no longer serve you? Are you an avoider? Do you run away from conflict? Are you a pushy person? Meaning, does everything need to be on your terms for you to feel safe and in control? These are small examples of habits that were formed when you weren’t paying attention. Everyone, and I do mean everyone struggles with bad habits in life at some point or another.
Some people have bad eating habits, others are in the habit of not being very active and therefore end up gaining weight as a result. Some people have poor spending habits and suffer financially over and over. I could go on and one. The circumstances will vary but the root cause is allowing yourself to fall into bad habits.
The good news is habits are completely changeable! I always love when there’s a way to fix something. Wouldn’t that suck big time if we couldn’t change it for the better – UGH. No thank you.
So how do you change a habit. Any habit. How do you make it better? Well the first thing is to recognize which habits have turned into bad habits in your life. I think we all know deep down inside what our ugly little bad habits are. If you don’t, take some time and look at yourself. Ask yourself these questions:
- What do you want to change about yourself? Make a list
- What set of behaviors can you think of that may have contributed to what you don’t like about yourself? Write these down!
- What can you start doing today to bust out of these behaviors? Again – write these down.
Now you have something to work with. They say that the human brain has to do an activity or task over and over for it to become a habit. How many days do you have to do it for it to become a habit? I’ve heard it takes 21 days, then I read in another article that Psychologist have done studies to prove it takes on average of 66 days. Here is the truth. Everybody is different. For some people it could take a few weeks, for some it could take a couple months. That’s not important. What is important and its also a fact: you MUST be consistent and just keep doing it until it become second nature. Once you can do something and not have to think about it, it has become a habit.
Wow, I guess I could go on and on about human behavior and how the mind works. I didn’t mean to get so carried away, but this is very interesting to me and I hope it serves you in some way. So lets talk about something beautiful like F-A-S-H-I-O-N!!!!!!
Today’s outfit is girly and pretty and everything sweet. Ahhhhh LACE. I love lace.
I found this simple little dress at Urban Outfitters. I try not to buy really short dresses because I’m way to active and when I bend over, I’m not exactly mindful of what others might see. LOL Sorry, but I have way too much on my mind at any given time. However, even though it was a little short for my liking, this dress just felt right. It is made of rayon and spandex and of course, lace.
These Gucci suede sandals are a dark hunter green which is great for both summer and fall outfits. I really should try to wear these shoes more often, but I tend to migrate to the more colorful shoes in my closet. So these babies are oh so lonely sometimes. No feet to cuddle with.
Well I gotta run. So much to do before this day is over. I hope I’ve inspired you in some way. Have a great week and I’ll see you back here this Friday.
Big Hugs and thanks for reading.
What I’m wearing:
- Dress – Urban Outfitters
- Shoes – Gucci
- Handbag – Vintage box purse
- Necklace & Earrings (old) – my closet
- Sunglasses – Versace